I have a lover too


I wrote about the mistress I made up for John.

Like I said, I really do reference her quite a bit during our lives (e.g., when John says he’s working late at the office, I’ll reply: “okay, cool – tell Melissa I say hi.”) After a few months of this, when John realized she was here to stay, he asked me one day, “so, don’t you have another boyfriend?”

I hadn’t really thought about it.
But sure, I guess that’s only fair.
“Okay, fine. I can have a lover too… what’s he like?”
“I don’t know! You’re the brains of this operation. I’m not creative.”
“Okay… well then, for starters, he probably is.”

“Okay. And?”
“And… he has dark hair. I know that’s kind of hypocritical, because I made Melissa blonde, but he’s my creation, and I say he’s brunette.”
“And he’s attractive enough; not overly handsome. We’re definitely not talking pool boy here.”
“Uh huh.”
“And he’s… artistic. Not like he sits at home and paints, but like we go to art galleries and stuff sometimes.”
“I thought you didn’t like galleries?”
“I don’t!… he does.”

“What’s his name?”
“Oh, I dunno… probably Brian or something.”
“Yeah. I mean, he’s certainly not a Chad or Brad… he’s kind of a nerd.”
“You think he’s a nerd?”
“Uh… ‘hipster’ maybe? He rides a bike. Reads non-fiction. I dunno.”
“Yeah, well…  he thinks so.”

“Okay, and what does Brian do for a living?”
“Oh! He’s an entrepreneur.”
“Oh… so he works at Starbucks.
“Only until he gets it off the ground!”

“So that’s it, you guys just go to art galleries and read together?”
“Yeah, I guess so… it’s really more fun than it sounds.”
“I’m sure.”

After a moment: “So, do you wish I was more like Brian?”
“God, no. The art galleries are already getting old.”


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